Proverbs 19
Bible Passage: Proverbs 19
ANGER
We are very familiar with the Bible’s principle regarding anger. We ought to be slow to anger; we can be angry, but do not sin; we should not let the sun go down on our wrath (Ephesians 4:26).
So then,my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. (James 1:19)
When I speak to my students regarding anger management, it is also similar. They are to understand that to feel angry is okay and normal, but it is the behaviour that is crucial. Are they using violent means to express their angry? In their anger, have they hurt somebody, whether physically or emotionally?
A quick search on “slow to anger” or “slow to wrath” showed me something interesting. All the verses either tells me about God being slow to anger, or how it is good that one is slow to anger. But Proverbs 19:11 directly tells me how to be slow to anger.
The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
And his glory is to overlook a transgression. (Proverbs 19:11)
人 有 见 识 就 不 轻 易 发 怒 ； 宽 恕 人 的 过 失 便 是 自 己 的 荣 耀 。
What is discretion? An online dictionary gave me four synonyms: judgment, wisdom, discrimination, sense. Let me try to explain each one with respect to anger…
Judgement – Are we able to judge if a matter is only trivial, and not worth getting all worked up?
Wisdom – Are we wise to know what is the better way to resolve the issue, rather than through quarrels and fights?
Discrimination – Can we discriminate between events and not lump them together when we are in the heat of the moment?
Sense – Are we sensible enough to know that quarrelling and fighting will lead us no where?
I remembered a few years back, I was with a younger sister buying something, and I was appalled by the service I received, whereas the sister behaved as though there was no issues at all. At that moment, I realised there was something in her that I did not possess. She was probably able to judge very quickly that it was a matter too trivial to waste the effort getting upset over it, and she had good sense to know that she was not going to let her day be ruined just because of a stranger.
If we have such discretion, we would not get angry easily. Now, the question is how to develop such discretion!
This is a question I do not really have the answer to… but I did have some thoughts after the incident with the younger sister. She was baptised as a baby and grew up in church and that probably shaped her personality, compared to me who was still relatively new in church at that time. Just like how we need to exercise ourselves towards godliness (1 Timothy 4:7), I believe discretion needs to be trained up. It is something that only the Word of God and time can mould.
I like to use the river as a metaphor for the Holy Spirit that dwells in us. We may present with many rough edges, for example, easily angered, having bad habits, but if we allow the Holy Spirit to work in us and mold us, like the potter and the clay, then the Holy Spirit will be like the gushing river rushing through the rough rocks. Gradually, the rocks will be smoothen, and the edges gone. (I got my inspiration from one of my favourite song which moves me a lot. Please see below for video.)
If you find it hard to control your anger currently, train yourself up! Maturity in one’s faith helps, but that takes time, and effort to meditate on the Words of the Bible and praying in the Spirit. But the Holy Spirit is always working, if we allow Him. 🙂