Poetry – Proverbs 29-30

Yesterday was a busy but fun day.  Some of us went paintballing for the first time and although some left the game with bruises and bruised egos, we all had a load of fun.  And personally, I hope this will not be the last time for me.

Here’s a picture of the motley crew…

What has this to do with Proverbs?

As I was reflecting on the paintball activity on the long taxi ride back to church, I was struck by how this relates to our reading of Proverbs, or even the Bible.

The objective of the paintball game was simple – Shoot at your enemy and capture the objects.

The problem was we keep on missing our enemies.  And even when we capture the objects, we end up getting shot.

The objective of reading Proverbs is also simple – know what is wisdom and do it.

But somehow, despite our many readings and encouragement, we still miss the target many times.

We are almost coming to the end of our reading of the book of Proverbs.  How much of our lives have changed since we started reading it?  Have we gained wisdom and live our lives in the way that God wants, or are we still missing the mark that He wants us to attain?

Bible Passage:  Proverbs 29-30

I feel very much like Agur, who wrote Proverbs 30, when he said….

Surely I am more stupid than any man,
And do not have the understanding of a man.
I neither learned wisdom
Nor have knowledge of the Holy One.

Proverbs 30:2-3

Although I have read much, listened to much, studied a fair bit about the book of Proverbs, I still feel very inadequate to write about Proverbs since I still very much lack the wisdom and knowledge of the Holy One.

However, this is also the beauty of God’s Word.  If you are willing to put in your time, effort and heart to search His Scriptures… you will find wisdom – to know how you ought to live your life.

I must admit that I struggled very much with today’s passage cause there are many areas I still do not quite understand the teachings (so please share with me and everyone else your insight by leaving a comment) but here is just one verse that stood out for me… and I must warn you… it is a very long blog post today…

Shout! Shout! Let It All Out…. ?

Back in my undergrad days, there was a popular song that had a mantra like chorus that went “Shout! Shout! Let It All Out!”  The singer was encouraging people to just let go of their emotions and vent all their feelinsg.

But this is somewhat against what the Proverbs writer says in Proverbs 29:11…

A fool vents all his feelings,
But a wise man holds them back.

Some versions of the Bible translates this feelings as anger.  But I would like to use the NKJV version that does not limit this to only anger and talks about feelings in general.

The internet has opened up thousand of ways for people to “vent their feelings”.  Look at the forum postings, blog postings, online articles, Singaporean’s participation in STOMP Online, popular websites etc… everyone is encouraged to let it all out… tell the whole world what they are thinking of … as and when they feel like it – often without any consideration of the consequences.

The older media like TV and Radio has also jumped in on the act.  Top rated reality shows normally have participants who are very open and forthright with their feelings and will even admit on international TV that they have lied, schemed and backstabbed their fellow participants in a bid to outwit, outplay and outlast them.

Proverbs is trying to teach us to look at building our life on values that last; choosing a standard, accepting responsibility, developing trust, and for today’s passage – developing self control.

Actually that is the key to this verse.

But this is not exactly a quality that a lot of people want to talk about today.

We’re not really into discipline.  We’re into whatever feels good, do.

But self control is an area that all of us have to deal with in one way or the other.

It’s not just for those who blow up. It’s also for those who clam up. Most people are one of two in life.  They’re either a skunk or a turtle.

When a skunk gets in trouble, he stinks the place up. He lets it rip and everybody knows when the skunk’s upset! On the other hand, the turtle folds himself into his shell. He hides, he cowers down. They don’t blow up; they clam up. Both of those are inappropriate.

In our society it’s very obvious we don’t know how to handle feelings very well.  When we don’t know how to react, we may resort to violence, crime, profanity.  It does seem that when frustration level rises, our anger increases, and so does violence.

Here are 7 ‘R’s to handling our feelings…

Resolve to Control It

“I can’t help it, that’s just the way I am.”

We need to quit saying we can’t control it and start realizing we can.

The Bible says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:13)

Proverbs 29:11 reminds us that instead of making excuses we need to start accepting responsibility for our reactions.

The wise man ‘holds them back’ – that is an act of the will; it’s something we choose to do.

Emotions is a choice.  Resolve simply means to decide in advance.

This is the first key: We decide in advance that we’re going to control our feelings with God’s help.

Realize The Cost

Often we we vent our feelings, it is because we are angry.  The Bible is very specific about the cost of uncontrolled anger

An angry man stirs up strife,
And a furious man abounds in transgression.

Prov 29:22

A wrathful man stirs up strife,
But he who is slow to anger allays contention.

Prov 15:18

We would all agree that hot tempers cause arguments.  Anger causes mistakes; people with hot tempers do foolish things, say things we regret immediately.  All of us have seen somebody really mad do something absolutely stupid and make a fool of themselves.  Maybe we are the fools.

But know that there are all kinds of costs involved. On the job, a person who blows up will put their career in jeopardy.

He who is slow to wrath has great understanding,
But he who is impulsive exalts folly.

Prov 14:29

A quick-tempered man acts foolishly,
And a man of wicked intentions is hated.

Prov 14:17

When we lose our temper, we always lose.  When we lose control of our feelings, we always lose.

We may lose our reputation, our children, the love of our spouse, or our job.

When feelings goes uncontrolled in our life we always lose.

There’s a price tag, and it’s not worth it.

Restrain My Mouth

Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth;
Keep watch over the door of my lips.

Psalm 141:3

We’ve got to think before we speak because inevitably feelings control is mouth control.

Have you noticed that you cannot put your foot in your mouth when it’s closed?

Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace;
When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.

Prov 17:28

If we will learn to keep our mouth shut we’ll stay out of trouble.

Whoever guards his mouth and tongue
Keeps his soul from troubles.

Prov 21:23

God gives us a good formula to follow in the book of James.

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;

James 1:19

If we do the first two, the third one is inevitable.

But if we are slow to listen and quick to speak we’re going to be quick to anger.

The Bible says it starts with restraining my mouth.

That’s the ultimate form of emotional maturity — the ability to control our mouth or our words.

Some of the things we’ve been taught about anger just aren’t true.

Some have said…

“We have to blow of a little steam once in a while.”

“Don’t hold in the anger…let it out, you will feel better once you do that”

That is contrary to the Word of God!

God tells us to control our emotions… especially our anger!

Reflect Before Reacting

We have refered to Proverbs 29:11 a few times already.

The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
And his glory is to overlook a transgression.

Prov 19:11

Delay is a tremendous remedy for anger, not indefinitely.

Anger delayed indefinitely becomes bitterness and that’s worse than anger.

But if we respond impulsively, we’re going to tend to respond in anger.

When we wait a little bit and let it cool, we will be more rationale, more reasonable.

The longer you hold your temper, the better it gets.

THINK before we speak:

T = is it Truthful?  Before we say it, is it the truth?

H = is it Helpful?  Or is it just going to harm?

I = is it Inspirational? Does it build up or does it tear down?

N = is it Necessary? If it’s not necessary, don’t say it? Some things aren’t necessarily wrong, they’re just not necessary so we don’t need to say it.

K = is it Kind?

What do we do during that delay, while we’re waiting?

We try to figure out why we’re angry.

We try to understand it.

Anger is always the symptom of the real problem.

We get angry because something else is wrong: we are either hurt, frustrated, or afraid.

Release My Anger Appropriately

“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,

Ephesians 4:26

That verse means there’s a way to be angry and not sin.

It is not automatically a sin to get angry.

There are appropriate ways and there are inappropriate ways to get angry.

There are helpful ways and there are harmful ways.

There are right ways and wrong ways.

It’s all in how we deal with it.

Return Good for Evil

Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men.  If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.  Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.  Therefore “ If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Rom 12:17-21

The heart of the problem is the problem with the heart.

Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

Matt 12:34

It’s not my mouth that gets me in trouble, it’s my heart!

Jesus is saying that whatever’s inside of us is what comes out.

Like a tube of toothpaste…nothing comes out until we squeeze it.

When the pressure is on, and we get squeezed what comes out?

Whatever is inside!

Request God’s Help

Whoever guards his mouth and tongue
Keeps his soul from troubles.

Prov 21:23

Yes, we have refered to this before.  But the final principle on developing self control is asking God to enable us.

In our own power we are incapable of controlling our mouths…our tongues, our feelings…

But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

James 3:8

He saved us and has given the power to become all that we need to be through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

2 Cor 5:17

Conclusion

As I said from the beginning, feelings are something that is difficult for me to control.  Looks like writing is also difficult for me to control and I apolgize for this very long post.  Let’s pray for one another as we learn to do things according to God’s Holy Word.

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