Proverbs 15

Bible Passage:  Proverbs 15

One of my problems I have is that I tend to talk too much… or talk at the wrong time and not at the right time… or when people do not talk with me, I tend to get uncomfortable and wonder if I have done anything wrong against them.

I have not talked to a certain friend for a long time and am actually apprehensive… cause I am not sure if I will be able to say the right things.

Today’s passage gives me a great reminder to watch my lips and what I say and how I say it.

Just take a moment and find all the verses with the words ‘tongue’, ‘mouth’, ‘lips’, ‘answer’, ‘word’, reply’.  There are also many other words that has to do with the way we talk and respond to people.  When I went through the list, I find myself shaking my head at myself because I have obviously been a fool for a long time… and need to still strive very hard to become wise.

A Soft Answer

So instead of talking too much today, I will let my words be few and just highlight on verse 1….

A soft answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.

I am sure you have read in the papers recently about vicious attacks on youngsters in Downtown East. Yesterday, there was an article in the papers about a bat wielding man who got out of his car to confront another motorist… apparently all because of something that was said or gestured.

Indeed, the people of the world today seemed to have forgotten this biblical principle.  We snap at the slightest thing.  A simple grunt can stir up a quarrel.  It does seem that our patience has grown much shorter and we do not know how to respond with a soft answer anymore.

Proverbs 15:1 tells us that “a soft answer turns away wrath.”

It is true that a humble response to wrath will normally abate the anger of the other party.  But as we can see today, some people will never be pacified.  This may be due to some long term bitterness and resentment and the tide of their wrath runs high.  Or they are just ‘wired’ that way now (due to the influence of society or media) and always respond with violence and wrath.

The only thing we can do – and the thing we must alway do – is to be meek and lowly in the face of their anger and leave the consequences to God.  Now, this does not mean we be silly and stay in the face of an abusive situation.  No one has the right o mistreat another human being.  But it does mean we can, by the grace and strength from God, respond calmly to another’s anger.

Paul stated the matter this way…

“If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Rom 12:18).  We must be peacemakers even if others refuse to be.  Obedience is our job.  We leave the rest to God.

So while we want a magic word that will fix the problem quickly, it simply does not exist all the time.  Some things just cannot be fixed no matter what we do… so we must rely on God’s grace to deal with them from day to day.

Yes, calm and quiet words may not always turn away another’s wrath.  And you may be sad that your soft gentle words go unheeded.  But you can never go wrong with a soft answer.  Or remain silent.

King Solomon tells us that there is a “time to keep silence” in Eccl 3:7. What does he mean?

I read this story about a Christian pastor who made this observation…

There is “a foolish silence, a sullen silence, a cowardly silence, and a despairing silence”.   None of this is recommended.  However, there is a prudent, holy, gracious silence to which the Bible tells us we should have.

If we do not practice this kind of restraint, we will speak harsh words that stir up anger (Prov 15:1) and use harsh, uncontrolled language (Prov 21:23). Unguarded lips always lead to serious consequences…. these are the six mischievious “Misses” that will come about… “Miss Information, Miss Quotation, Miss Representation, Miss Interpretation, Miss Construction, and Miss Understanding.”  They are the result of talking when we should be quiet.

I once witness the power of silence and self control when there was a disagreement between two women.  One was speaking vehemently and gesturing wildly, while the other stood perfectly still – tranquil and unperturbed.  Finally the first woman stamped her foot and shouted, “Speak! So that I can have something more to say to you!”

That was a lesson for me! Silence is often the best answer.

What do you think?

And are there any other lessons in this chapter that you want to share?  Here is a chance to talk and not keep quiet 🙂